This Christmas will be my first without my Dad, who passed away in June. I’ve decided not to make up a story about how hard it will be. I trust there will be moments of joy – and grief. I’m willing to feel both. I have to trust that my whole family is in this together, and we will help each other through. Also, my Dad would be PISSED if he thought that we would all sit around crying instead of enjoying being alive and being together. I hope I can feel his presence quietly lighting the room.
I want to feel peaceful, calm, grateful, and loved.
- For me, that means I have to slow down enough to let myself have room to feel. But I don’t want to park myself in grief. I can pull into that space for a few minutes and let it be what it is. Then, I’ll be ready to move back into the flow of my life.
- I am simplifying things this year. Not over thinking gift choices, mailing stuff early, reminding myself that the gifts I give are just tokens of my love.
- I need to be present in the moment in order to receive love from my people when they are ready give it. To not brush off the hug, the kiss, the chance to connect because I’m focused on a task or lost in my own thoughts.
- I need to be able to observe my thinking and make the choice to get it back on a healthy track if it’s going off the cliff. I do get to choose.
I need to say “NO” to over scheduling.
I need to say “NO” to expending a lot of energy trying to make things perfect. My husband is going to miss a Christmas gathering. I wish it weren’t so. And I”m choosing to let it go and focus on the bigger picture, less on the tangential stuff that is so easy to get tangled up in.
I will just trust that it is all “good enough” and no one will leave my house hungry or feeling unloved. Really, is there more?